5 Steps to Solve Your Problems in Sleep!!

Dear Readers,

Well I am a voracious reader of books that teach you how to use your brain more effectively. And I am a big fan of sharing what I learn by reading these books. But always I try to share my own interpretation of it, instead of just copy pasting things from a book. Recently I finished reading Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and Silva Mind Control Method by Jose Silva, and there were some great insights into human brain, whereby we can use our sleep to find solutions to nagging problems. So ........... promise to yourself,

The solutions are actually already available to us, we just have to accept them, and open our minds to them so that we can become aware of them, and solve our problems for good.

But what is its connection to sleep, you ask, why cant you tell me the solutions to my problem and I go and implement it, and everything will be fine. The problem is two fold,

• Firstly, if I give you a ready-made solution there is a good chance that you might not feel the ownership to it, if instead it was something that you have found.
• Secondly, your mind which has stored each and every one of your experiences so far in your life, knows you much better than anyone else in this world.

So on these two counts, it is always beneficial and long lasting to find your own solutions to your problems.

Let me take you through the process suggested by Jose Silva, albeit with some of my own tweaks, to accomplish this. the process has 5 steps, and they are listed below.

1. Instruct your mind before going to sleep about the problem you are facing. This means that you define whatever is bothering you as clearly as possible, and then state the problem to your mind. Be very specific. Also list down the benefits you will derive by solving this problem. For a student it may be a particular topic, which after much efforts she is not able to understand. The benefit of understanding it might be increased grades. Remember the benefit is very important!!
2. Desire a solution to this problem. Now this is easy, we all desire that our life be problem free, and this should not be too difficult for you. But don'd forget to associate your emotions with the benefit you will derive once your problem is solved. For a chronic smoker, this might be the health benefit and a sense of pride and self respect for quitting smoking.
3. Believe that Infinite Intelligence (II) will guide you to a solution to this problem. Now you need to have faith in yourself, and if that is a problem, have faith in the II, to deliver the solution to you. Actually its your own mind that delivers the solution, but since we don't yet fully comprehend human mind, let the II guide you in this.
4. Expect to wake up and remember the solution given to you by II, in the morning. Now this is an important step. It is easy so far, but to really expect the solution to happen, is a bit difficult, Well the process of imagination might help you in this, as we have seen in our last post on the subject. Imagine the problem is solved and feel all the benefits you have derived, associate the emotions.
5. Now go to sleep and try the solution that comes to your mind when you wake up, and if it does not work, repeat the steps from 1 - 4. Now a few things are possible after you go through the process,
• You get a solution in your first attempt and your problem is solved, voila, you are on your way to a problem free life now!
• You might get nothing, but don't despair, it takes time to get in touch with you own subconscious mind, but if your desire, believe and expect this to happen, this will surely happen, you just have to try a bit more.
• You get a solution but the problem still persists, then you might have to do it more and more and perhaps try to define the problem correctly, and be very specific when you do it, if the problem is not well defined so will be the solution.

So now you know, how to solve your problems, without having to consciously ponder over the solution. Without going through the frustrations and tensions. And all this by having a little faith in yourself and sleeping, which you do every night!!

So sleep on it!!

DeAn

Dreams vs Imagination !!

Hello Everyone,

I am back with another interesting post that will surely set you on a thinking path. Today we are talking about what you should choose, dreams or imagination, and the answer as always is revealing, so here goes.....

Dreams, everyone has them, those who say they don’t have them, actually are not aware of them. What are the most common dreams now a day, well it depends on what stage of life aperson is in, some of the common ones are,

For a student,

·         Scoring in exams, more commonly clearing the exams.

·         Being popular.

·         Having the latest gadgets, almost immediately Iphone comes to mind, the latest one.

·         May be a latest bike, and the like.

For a working person,

·         Own house.

·         Better car.

·         Dream Holiday, possibly abroad.

·         Better job (meaning less work, more pay), and the like.

There are many more which can be added to the list, but merely dreaming about all these things does not help, don’t believe me, well look at yourself honestly, how many of your dreams are coming true, and if they are coming true then you must be doing something in addition to dreaming about these things, and that is precisely what I am going to talk about. That something is called as imagination! Confused yet, read on.

Well let me first tell you what according to me imagination is. It is a way of thinking in which you imagine exactly what you want in your mind as if you already has it, and you are enjoying it, and are happy to the core because you that something, it might be anything from the above list and more. It might be good grades for students, a better job for those who are working, better relationships, and more time for you or family, etc.

Now you might ask what’s the point of imagining something which is not true yet, isn’t it what day dreaming is all about. Well yes and no!

Why yes? Well you have to day dream these things but in a specific manner, which I will disclose in a while. 

Why no?  Because here you are not just going think about it, you are going to do something about it. So what exactly is it? Here it is......

It is a process where you imagine things, using creative visualization by following the steps below, but you have to set aside fixed time for this exercise, may be 15-20 in daily, once you do it 5-6 times the time required will go down drastically,

• Identify something which you want badly, something which you actually need, something which if you get it will improve the quality of your life (last time I checked having an Iphone did not make you fly)!

• Ok, so you have decided on the thing which you want, need, and right now. Now imagine that you have it, you have got it, and you are enjoying it, but how exactly do you imagine it, well let’s do it the scientific way....

a.       Imagine having what you want would feel like – sense of touch.

b.      Imagine having what you want would sound like – sense of hearing.

c.       Imagine having what you want would taste like (if it is something you would like to eat) – sense of taste.

d.      Imagine having what you want would smell like (like the smell of a fresh brand new car) – sense of smell.

e.      Imagine having what you want would look like (probably the most powerful sense in human body) – sense of vision or seeing.

•      Now every time you are imagining the thing you absolutely want, think of it in terms of these five senses, when I say imagine as if you have it, imagine how you would see, hear, touch, taste and smell things while enjoying having what you want the most. Now not all situations and things would call on all five senses, but try to imagine things in great detail, the more details the better.

•       Repeat this exercise daily, without fail, and associating as many emotions with it as possible. E.g.: Imagine feeling the exhilaration and pride on getting great grades, the goose bumps of going on to your first long drive in you brand new car, etc. The more emotions you associate with it the better.

Now what exactly am I going to accomplish, by doing my day dreaming, albeit in great detail, with increased effort, you may ask? Well this exercise is not done to give you the pleasure of day dreaming, but to instruct you subconscious mind about what you are feeling by imagining that you have with you what you absolutely want. Your subconscious mind cannot make a difference between something which you actually experience and something you just imagine (but using the process mentioned above), and it believes it. Once your subconscious mind believes something it will try to find out opportunities by which you can actually make it a reality, the opportunities which you might have missed earlier.

This subconscious mind is a very powerful thing, and its means and ways are not understood easily by our conscious mind. So if you do this exercise repeatedly without fail, I sure you will find a renewed confidence and energy which will take you even closer to what you want. This technique can be applied to anything ranging from a gadget to change in behavior, the only thing you have to do is to imagine, and in great detail.

So get started, identify something you want and apply this process of imagination to it, and enjoy the results.

Keep at it!

DeAn

"Vicious Circle" vs "Upward Spiral" !!

Dear Readers,

We have been hearing this term "vicious circle", time and again. Mostly associated with people who are doing same things over and over and getting the same results again and again. 

So what exactly is this vicious circle, well if you remember my last post on "will power" and "habits", you are aware of the fact that, your habits determine what you repeatedly do, and what you repeatedly do reflects in your results. So if you have bad habits, you will produce bad results, and if you have good habits you will produce good results. 

Vicious Circle is the circuitous path where you have bad habits producing bad results which reinforce bad image of the self.

Vicious Circle

And getting trapped in this vicious circle has deep psychological effects on a person. 

"Just imagine a person trapped in the vicious circle, sets out on a new project, it might be anything from a professional undertaking or an attempt to improve grades for a student or someone trying to better their relationship with their partner. He begins enthusiastically, gets a few steps in, but then the habits set in, and makes it more and more difficult for the person to stay on course, remember we know that will power is like a muscle and it will get exhausted by repeated use or abuse. So what happens, the person snaps back to his original behavior, his old habits and hence his old results.

And who can stop this person, now, from thinking that he is a failure, and can't take anything to completion, and hence do not deserve the best that life has to offer, aka having a bad self image."

So once again we come back to the topic of habits, and how they can help us get on the "upward spiral" from a "vicious circle".

Well imagine the same person, lets take an example of a student, she is trying to improve her grades but not able to do it, this in turn reinforces in her mind that she is not a good student, which further pushes her into bad habits (which in most cases is a defense mechanism, against not being understood), a classic case of "vicious circle". So what can she do to get better grades and change her situation, well lets dive in,

1. First and foremost she needs to reinforce in her mind that, she has failed a test, one of the many she will face in her lifetime, and this failing of test does not make her a failure. Try to grasp the difference, "failing a test" can be improved upon but "being a failure" is a very difficult thought to cure. To do this she can start writing positive statements about her as a daily exercise to improve her self image. Some examples may be,
• "I am a sincere student, and do my studies regularly."
• "I seek help from my teachers whenever I face a problem with my studies, and they guide me well."
• " I judge myself on the preparation I put in and not the final results of the exam." and many more....
2. Once she has developed a habit of writing positive statements, next she needs to set a goal to move towards, suppose it is to score well in this years exams. Then find out how much time she has on her hands, remember this is not a quick fix, so if your next exam is too close this might not help you in it, but surely for your next exam. 
3. Once a timeline has been set (time till your next exam), divide the time available into 3 to 4 equal stages (say one part of 2-4 weeks each, for an exam which is 2-4 months out), and decide the daily time you are going to dedicate to your studies, now don't run in front of yourself here. If you want to see yourself studying for 2-4 hours a day, outside of school, star with 30 mins a day in your first stage, and hour in your next. If you see yourself dropping out of this schedule, peg it back to 30 mins again, till you are comfortable with it. (Remember will power will take you only so far, but habits will take you all the way, and it takes time to develop good habits.) Slowly ramp it up to your final goal, use steps from last post.
4. Now you don't need to be Einstein to figure out what 2-4 hours a day would do to your results, but don't forget the most important step, celebrate your successes. And you can do that by simply writing down the good  things you did today, according to your plan, like studying for 30 mins in first stage of the plan, in the above example. Write it down, it helps reinforce the good habits you are trying to develop.
5. Last but not the least get someone to hold you accountable for your plan, at least in the beginning, don't involve a figure of authority like one of your parents here, they can get judgmental, it is best if you partner with one of your siblings or better yet a friend, where you become accountability partner for each other.

And voila, you are on your upward spiral, where you develop good habits, set a goal, take measured actions, celebrate your successes to reinforce the good habits.

Upward/Virtuous Spiral

An exact opposite to the vicious circle.

And the good thing is you are in control of the whole process, by varying the size of your steps (smaller or bigger as per your comfort) you are going to take to reach your goal, you can keep it manageable and avoid dropping out of the plan.

This method can be applied to any endeavor of your life, you can get in touch with me if you want to discuss any specific area.

So I say, you get on with your first project, and see the results for yourself, best of luck!!

Regards

DeAn

The "Will Power" Secret !!

Dear Readers,

Here goes the secret about will power, but before I reveal it to you, tell me haven't you heard the following statements in your life so far,

• You have to have will power to get yourself through a difficult situation!
• You have to increase your will power, you give up too early!
• People with strong will power succeed!
• You can overcome any challenge in life with strong will power!

All in all will power is touted as the one stop solution for life's all problems, but is it really the solution, brace yourself for the obvious answer.......

A resounding NO!!!!! 

What do you mean no, so whatever we have been told so far is a farce, one might ask, and answer to that is a definite YES!!

But there is no point busting a myth without giving appropriate logic behind it. So here goes.......

There is a story doing the rounds on the internet, about "putting the glass down", here is a link to that,

Put The Glass Down. 

Essentially what the story tells us is that we cant carry the stress, tensions, pressures and frustrations for a long time solely base on our will power, and we need to take breaks in between to keep us going, but the question is why is it so?

Well just as we cannot use the muscles in our shoulder to hold the glass up for a long time (refer the story), we cannot carry our stresses, tensions, pressures and frustrations for a long time with our will power only, because will power is like a muscle, if you repeatedly use it or as in most cases abuse it, without appropriate rest, for long, it is going to fail.

And how does the failure look, well it might be any one of the following scenarios,

• Someone who decides to exercise for next year on new years eve, but fails to go to the gym for more than a week or two, once the pain of the efforts set in.
• A student deciding to study regularly for a predecided time, say a couple of hours, but only to quit at the first call by a friend to go out, or favorite TV program coming on at the same time.
• An avid smoker managing to stay away from the butt for a short period of time.
• The examples can go on and on, ranging from alcoholics to workaholics,  from chain smokers to students who cannot keep their commitment to studies.

Some of you might have stronger will power like someone who works out regularly in a gym might have stronger shoulder muscles, but however strong you might be eventually time will have its say and thwart your efforts at anything which is not comfortable for you.

So what is the solution to this, we have discussed the problem enough, and solution is just one word, HABITS!!!

Yes habits are the solution, and a long term one, if you do not believe it, just ask a chronic smoker, how he manages to smoke a cigarette every hour or couple of hours. Ask an alcoholic how he cannot avoid that glass everyday. It is because there body and mind has developed a habit of smoking or drinking and now it is beyond their control to change it.

Ok, the solution is Habits, but how do we implement it, and cultivate good habits. The recipie is a simple 3 steps solution,

1. Break the goal you have to achieve (quit smoking, study 2 hours daily outside of college) in small parts, eg: If you want to quit smoking altogether, start by quitting for half a day once a week, if you want to study for 2 hours a day start by studying for 15 mins a day for a week.
2. Celebrate the successes, however small they might be, it reinforces good feelings about your goals in your mind.
3. Gradually ramp up effort and increase your duration in the above cases till you reach your goal, eg: if you want to work out 7 days a week, start with 2 days a week and gradually add one day a week every month.

The key to above process is patience (be gradual in your approach), consistency (keep initial goals small to avoid relapse or quitting in between) and perseverance (depending on your step size this might take a long time to achieve your ultimate goals so you have to keep at it).

But be assured that this process works! This process has its root in human psychology, and is just the tip of the iceberg, we are eventually going to explore here. 

So if you have read it until here, I say you are definitely committed towards achieving your goals, and I promise I will definitely help you reach there.

I am no professional writer, so all of you who have a suggestion for me and my writings please come forward and suggest it, so that I can improve my posts here on wards.

So keep at it.

Regards

DeAn

The "WHY?" Exercise !! Coming soon........

Hi all !! Welcome to Get That Amazing Life !!

Dear Readers,

I am thrilled to have you all on my blog. The reason is simple, I am so excited to share my life's story with you. And believe me it is not very different than yours. The actual circumstances might differ, but the challenges I face are nothing different than what you have to in your day to day life. So here goes....

First and foremost let me share a bit about myself, I am an engineer by profession, and the day I graduated out as an engineer (with distinction ;)) I had a plush job offer with an established automobile company. The job was a dream job for many and for me too it was nothing short of a dream come true. And I did not wake up from it, till good long 3 years into my first ever job. 

Then something started changing in my life. I started being unhappy often. My frustration levels started going up. I used to be angry more often than not. And all this tension naturally came out in the form of  myself indulging into binge drinking, and living an insane lifestyle. My health also suffered during this period, I was a good athlete during my college days, but during this period I could not keep up to my own standards. All this had its toll on my family life too, and it was affecting my relationship with my wife.

Then for better or for worse, an old friend came to me with an idea of starting a business and get rid of the frustrations of my job, or so I thought. I thought my job was the reason for my frustrations and being my own boss might relieve me of that. After all if I worked as hard as I worked in my job I would become a millionaire in no time. I was so naive to think like that.

Anyways we started the business, and for almost a decade struggled to even make the ends meet. Wonder where the idea of becoming a millionaire in no time went. During this time I learned that the woman in my life, my wife had as much faith in me as I had in myself. All the struggles I had to go through I had my wife standing by me, supporting me in every decision of mine. Not to forget my friend who faced all the challenges during this period with me.

Naturally when you struggle to succeed for so long, almost a decade, when at the same time your friends are having the best time of their life, it drives you to do some serious introspection, and I did it too. I went through many personal development programs, making money programs, break out of your barrier programs, and much more, I read almost every self development book I could get my hands on, but even after all this I was not making any real progress, somehow the opportunities missed me, sometimes by a mile and at other times by a whisker.

Then one fine day I realized, in many of such moments of deep reflection, that every person is unique and so are his circumstances, and so should be the solutions. So I decided to reapply all the methods and trainings I had gone through, but only this time I just used the broad framework and modified the finer steps as per my understanding of my own situation. I did this for some time and I could see that my circumstances started changing for better. It was not a sudden shift to opulence and wealth, but slowly things started becoming better in my life, be it my financials or my relationships, be it my health or the fact that I was in control of my own time, all aspects of my life started falling in place.

Today I am at least a 1000 times more confident that I will achieve whatever I set my sights on, than I was say a year back. And I want to share how I came to this point in life where I feel that there is abundance of wealth, health, happiness and peace for me in this world, and for that matter for anyone who is ready to receive it.

I know I said that solutions are unique for everyone and that's why I am going to share the general procedure with you which I followed, and also would like to be with you on this journey where you find your own solutions to your problems. 

I would absolutely love to help you Get That Amazing Life, and I will! 

Regards

DeAn